The sun was out, temps above minus for the 2nd day in a row. Rolled out of bed, I brushed my teeth, had a long shower. Dried off, wrapped the towel around me and walked back into the bedroom.

I stared at my now empty calendar for a moment. Threw my towel on the dresser, took a deep breath and put back on the clothes I had slept in. This was supposed to be the best month as a professional that I have had in a long time. Everything now postponed, or canceled.

Another day, in self isolation……..

Covid Blog #1 – As we go deep into the Northness…. *Mentally I hear Rick Sanchez ‘and awaaaaay we go’

Thunder Bay is rather North for the most part. Now I have been all the way to Greenland and Iceland but in regards to actually residing, this is colloquially known to the rest of the world as “the middle of nowhere”.

The middle of nowhere is what brings me to the crux of this jam. The Covid 19 virus and how it has been affecting me, well not the virus per se, but how people are reacting to the virus and how that is impacting me.

You see, I mastered social isolation and social distancing long before it was trending on Twitter.

The problem for me is that I live with 7 diagnosed mental illness, which would be just dandy if they hung out in the apartment and let me do my thing. But they don’t, they all share a single occupancy in my head. Subsequently, it can be crowded and noisy. I may be a quiet person, but I have a loud mind.

I avoid people, contact, groups and crowds in my personal life. Professionally I am unable to do so, and put on what I call ‘cruise ship Jase’ the alter I used when I worked on ships and had to be on point all the time. But in my own time, I am always alone. I don’t answer the door or the phone. I engage with people on my dime, when I can handle the stimulation and am emotionally regulated. I live in a building which is rent geared to income, and houses various individuals on the mental health spectrum. So at the moment, everyone is locked in, and the hallways are alive with people. A number of them are coughing and wheezing, which makes my anxiety more hyper vigilant that normal. My a-social behavior doesn’t make me a shut in though. I am super active, I just do activities by myself. which blends flawlessly with my surroundings.

Thunder Bay, has over 100k in population, but feels considerably less because of the way it has developed. This city itself is a hallmark of social isolation and social distancing. It is like this city is allergic to itself and continues to build away from one another. I have never seen a city use up so much space. We don’t build up here, just out. The lack of tall buildings boggles my mind.

Also when compared to everywhere else I have been, I don’t find this to be the most social city. I am sorry if that hurts anyone’s feelings who lives here, but it is not. I have been to well over 200 towns, cities, villages et al. This place is very much to itself.

Now…. That isn’t a bad thing, it just is what it is. (Anyone that knows me, knows that I like living here, and knows that I am just overly critical of everything in existence.)

Combined these factors tho make containing the virus perfect, not to mention this city’s response time and people, places and things all following the guidelines. At the time of this blog we have ZERO reported cases. We have more murders than Covid. But I expected that as we do have an abnormally high murder per capita rate for Canadian cities.

The thing is, we are too efficient. Just reaching out with a few people I know who also have mental illness or various disorders. We are having a tough time, this is a new type of isolation, this is the type of isolation that breeds suicidal ideation in many folks with mental illness. All of our community supports are gone, workers, day programming, counseling. And for the most part there is no plan for this, people are left to fend for themselves, and for many who need workers to assist with their day to day living. As independent as I am, I still rely on a handful of people to assist with my existence.

I am holding onto the hope that middle of April we will be able to return to our routines and habits. But it is at a point that I am not concerned about the virus, but that mental illness will start taking people off the board. Mental health can unravel really quickly sometimes so if you know anyone that has a mental illness, please check in on them more often that you do normally. Being stuck alone and in your head is tough for folks without mental illness, but can be torture for those who do.

Stay safe everyone, and look out for one another. Check back here tomorrow for another story about life in an apartment from an old guy who constantly looks out his peep hole grumbling about sick people walking the hallways.

‘Get off my lawn’

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